So Far

 Only attraction in this town is her cooking.  Oh, right, anyways, I was eating when there was this really big bang then next thing I know the whole back half of the place was covered in red soda drink.  What that box was supposed to be I don't suppose it was to be a weapon, not with sodas in it.  There was the little guy in the back with a piece of wood like a picture frame hanging around his neck and red soda dripping of his lumpy nose.  We was in shock or I'm sure we would have laughed.  Or maybe somebody would have went and punted that guy out the front door.  Instead he slunk off and back out into the night.

That's what happened.  What'd he look like? Well he were wrong looking, like somebody made him out of clay and didn't get the shape just right, or bake it long enough.  He was wearing these clothes that look practically painted on him over top of some sort of scaly patchy body suit.  He had these small eyes, and this lumpy nose.  His hair, if you can call it that, looked like it was applied like his clothes.  Strange little feller, hope he's better at his job than what he was doing in here or we're doomed.